“Sicko” or “Why I Declined The Morphine When I Broke My Wrist The First Time.”

Ok, I’m actually going to review Sicko and not just make fun of Americans this time. I was expecting something the Cannes film festival would surely jump up in joy for: an over-2-hour documentary with lethargic narration about something rich white people are doing to ruin the lives of honest hard working Americans so it can fatten their wallets and stomachs. Well, that’s what I got but I was pleasantly surprised that the documentary’s message worked this time. The case with Bowling for Columbine was simply that “guns are bad mmmkay” and that Canadians aren’t as violent and sociopathic as the Americans. Jolly good show. However, with Sicko, the characters are real and the villains aren’t edited to look more sinister than they are. The problem is serious and, of course, so is Moore.

Now, I’m not a fan of Michael Moore but, like Jesus or Death Note, I despise the fanbase more than anything and am willing to hear the guy out and see if he’s got anything I should be interested in. I’ve read the comments online and it’s shameful to see such blatant ethnocentrism hidden by goading the bad grammar kids for bashing their false idol. Yes, maybe the healthcare is far better or worse somewhere else. Yes, maybe we’re the worst country blah blah Bush is an asshole New York Yankees. Yes, maybe Moore is a fat liberal douche whathaveyou. However, I suspect that none of these people have seen the movie in question.

Sicko isn’t the sequel to Fahrenheit 9/11. Sicko addresses the shananegans of healthcare and insurace corporations in charge of the coverage of the average American and how it’s all one big money game. This shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone if you’re already a cynic like I am, but at least there wasn’t a documentary of this caliber about it and Moore’s the right man for the job. While the movie and its patrons might come to a debate on whether or not we should vote for a universal healthcare system or not, it’s vital to understand that even if our currency could withstand that, this country will not stand for such an outcome. Our founding fathers loved money just the same and they’d do the same thing; Racism and sexism will always take a backseat to classism. It’s a depressing but sometimes necessary experience to sit down and ponder just what kind of a place this is for people who don’t make it into the higher class. “Give me your tired, your sick, your poor.”

Let’s face it, the healthcare problems light shone upon don’t matter to people who can afford to cheat death, which then begs the question: Does healthcare work or is it a front to keep people at bay while the fortunate cover themselves? And reflecting on that question begs another: Is this movie brainwashing me with its superior editing? But I digress. The problem, as I said is serious, and the movie puts a chill down your spine, if your spine is anything like mine (I used to be able to recommend a good network chiropractor for that but now I think he was just bilking my mom for cash ever since I learned about reiki). Getting out of the fearful diatribe about US healthcare and its many horror stories and going back to the movie, its quality is also something you’ve come to expect from Michael Moore. Not everything in the movie is the truth. Not everything is a lie either, but the man’s a known trickster with a great talent for directing and editing that it’s hard to be sure without doing your own research. Fortunately, such a movie gives people the chance to debate their neighbors into submission and research things for themselves.

Michael Moore is, without a doubt, a marvelous filmmaker. It might not be for the awful truth he gives us in pill form, it might not be for the illusion of reality all good directors weave before us, and it might not even be due to his extreme propagandist editing style, but one thing can always be counted on when you watch a Michael Moore film: You feel something. You feel proud or enraged. You want to do something that matters. Even if you’re being lied to, you’re being triggered like the dogs you are and the bell is telling you to care about your future and the future of your children. When the message hits home, the film does its job. No director worth his salt could ask for more. Sicko’s a movie worth seeing but never expect the hollywood happy ending from this man and you’ll be fine. 4.1 out of 5 thumbs up.