I wish I were a pirate, man. Standing on my deck, guffawing as I get incredibly soaked by the harsh waters. Yelling at people, waving a cutless about like a lunatic and not getting arrested for it… well, at least you could do it at sea. I almost got busted for wearing a skirt and having a kendo sword in a subway station once. My guard was lowered because I was staring at a toothpick that stabbed me when I picked up the phone and I was worried I’d contracted AIDS… The cops come up to me and they’re trying to open my sword but I keep telling ‘em “it’s just wood, man. No blade in there.”
“Why are you wearing a skirt?”
“Man, I do that sometimes. Can I get my sword back? I can’t cut a dude’s head off with that shit.”
“Oh, ok.” Cops hand it back, they walk away, my ex shows up, and yet I’m still bored, but I digress.
I got Ship Simulator 2006 but it sucks. I like Johnny Depp and used to play Sid Meier’s Pirates! for the Apple ][c way back when my mom was a lawyer. I got a map of the Spanish Main on my otherwise-barren wall and sometimes I think "Pfil," I say inside my head, "we should become a pirate. Don't gotta worry about working for Taco Bell if you're on the sea, pillaging, plundering, eating limes and shit."
I’M A PIRATE TODAY!
Whaaaaaat!?
Oi, GATO, you’re a pirate? ｱﾚﾚﾚ!?(･_･;?
Arrrr! That’s right, mateys! ナミダガ・・ ヽ(；▽)ノ アハハハハ
I DON’T GET IT!
That’s the whole point, simpleton! ﾑ━━━[○･｀Д´･○]━━━ヵ Cretin!
Ho shit!
Yo, why you a pirate anyways!?
I may or may not have a drinking problem!
Hahahahaha, oh man.
That’s not funny. m(._.)m ゴメン
Not to sound like I’m a homophobe but the hardest thing about being a Bleach fan was trying to explain why I hated Dragon Ball Z. Then I realized that (1) Kubo Tite’s fashion sense is fab and (2) there are far less drawings of molars.
